he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
