I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize