Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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