This is not my ceiling
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
