Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
foreskin is a definite game changer
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
