pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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