So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Drunk is a universal language darling
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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