Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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