She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
