giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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