Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
