totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
