porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Duck Duck Cougar?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
