sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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