You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
