Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
