what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize