something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
