Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
