This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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