Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
