He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She's JV to your varsity
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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