gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
