At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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