i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
