I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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