Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
