Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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