I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize