I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
