everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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