either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
