but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
