i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
