I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
