This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My hand turned me down
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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