You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
