I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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