i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
