my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
