i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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