Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dear god my vagina.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
