I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
