so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize