just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
