Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize