Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
