It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
