i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
