i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
