The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
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