Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
