Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
