Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
