White coat. Heels.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
