i think my mom watched the whole time
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
