we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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