I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
