I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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