i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
