Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
