Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
