i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
