So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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