i think my mom watched the whole time
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
