If i come over, it means nothing
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
