Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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