Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
