i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
