I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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