I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
