What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize