Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
