i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
