Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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