yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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