Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize