I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If I die, sorry about rent.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
